StickWithANose

In praise of the vocoder or AutoTune: Gin & Tacos

No one in this world listens to the kind of crap that gets airplay on the radio and thinks, “Gee, I’d like this song better if Stephen Hawking sang it.” Unless and until that thought crosses someone’s mind, AutoTune is the answer to an unasked question. It was invented to fix tracks from talentless models who can’t sing. Now its sole purpose is to take ass-rapingly awful music and somehow, in violation of the laws of thermodynamics, make it worse. It is bad enough that the Black-Eyed Peas are so creatively bankrupt that they’ve taken to writing event-specific “songs” (like the geniuses who realized that they could write a song called “Closing Time” and every bar on Earth would play it to the great delight of sodden, Abercrombie-shirted assholes eating street vendor burritos at 3 AM and power-barfing Jagermeister on a 24 year-old mother of four in an ill-fitting halter top). What purpose other than shepherding mankind closer to complete intellectual collapse is served by AutoTuning the inane vocals?